Good question: Is “What are you?” a good question?
Maybe it was being raised for a few years in the South, or maybe it was just the enlightening moment of reading Malcolm X’s autobiography — but I usually prefer that people ask an awkward question about race than not. I like people’s thoughts to be out on the table — even if their thoughts are racist or ignorant, I can at least address them if they come out.
So I try not to discourage people from asking things like that. I understand that some people consider it reductionist (“I’m not what a ‘what’, I’m a ‘who’!”), and usually when people ask “What are you?” it’s with a bit of an unpleasant tone. But really, is that so much better than the tipsy-toe “Where are you from?” or “Where are your ancestors from?”? I know what you mean when you ask “What are you?” … isn’t the point of language to be understood?
Mostly, when someone asks me this, I feel like it’s an opportunity to blow their minds a little bit. Of course, when I answer them, they are incredulous. But over the years, I’ve crafted a response which is inarguable. If I say, “Well, I’m Black” some people with disagree. Fine. That’s their right. If I say, “Well, I’m White.” … firstly, that’s a lie, because ‘white’ in this country includes the concept of racial purity in a way that ‘black’ and ‘hispanic’ don’t; and secondly, they don’t believe me … they follow up… “Are you Jewish/Italian/etc. etc.?” So, what I’ve come around to answering is, “Well, my mother is Black and my father is White.” These are indisputable facts. If I show people pictures, there’s no argument. So then the asker is just confronted with the poverty of their racial definitions. And that’s exactly how I like it.
But I couldn’t get them into that uncomfortable position, unless I was okay with them asking the question in the first place.